Woo hoo! It’s the first day of Spring! I’m excited. Not that I hate Winter, I’m just over it. Completely. I’m a natural hibernator and while I don’t mind a good hibernation at times, I’m ready to come out of my cave. Well and truly.
Even hibernators learn during their hibernations though, or I did.
Australia has had it’s worst flu season on record and I was one of the masses who caught it. Many days out of regular life sounds like a bonus, but it’s not! Coming back to the real world, the real studio, is the start of another period of illness, the mental kind.
It’s always a difficult time, beginning painting again after a break. I used to forget the knowledge that I can paint. I felt like a beginner all over again, again and again. I eventually trained myself to ignore that and just assume I still could. Took years but I got there. That wasn’t my problem this time.
A complete loss of confidence accompanied with anxiety and, yes, I think I was a little depressed too, was my lot returning to the studio this time. Previously, painting healed me almost instantly. This time it took a couple of weeks for painting to do it’s stuff. During those weeks I struggled with toxic thoughts of giving it all up, how bad my work really was, how no one would ever want to look at it let alone buy it… etc etc. I think you can imagine. (Interestingly starting a course of probiotics fixed the anxiety almost instantly!)
I won’t dwell on the bad any longer. It was bad. A few internet friends supported me through it. Thank you! And I persevered.
And that is what I learned. To persevere, to stick with it, no matter what.
To say perseverance is not my strong point is understating it by a mile! I read about it, I plan to embody it, but I’m a natural giver-upper-er. I was shocked at myself the first time I watched the movie Gravity; the number of times I thought “OK, now that’s it! She can’t do anything” was amazing. Over and over I expected Sandra Bullock to give up and I was shocked when she didn’t. That’s when I realised I had a real problem with perseverance.
But now I know if you preserver with perseverance, you get there!
For those with perseverance issues I recommend you try Julia Bickerstaff’s 100 Day Goal program. The current 100 days starts today. It’s a fantastic program. I paid to get the extra BOOST help and while it’s not necessary to do that, I do recommend it too. This will be my second round of 100 Day Goal. Technically I failed the first time, not achieving my actual goal, however you can see I learnt a lot!
Now I’d like to introduce you to the healing artwork! There were other nurses along the way, but this one did the trick. It’s called ‘Bean bag’ and tell me you didn’t have a bean bag like this way back when they were design-must-haves!
Have a happy day!